I caught myself out today when I was having a chat with my sister! I have been in a bit of slump this week with my present health uncertainty and mentioned how I just wanted to feel; and wait for it…. be ‘normal’, have a ‘normal’ life! It wasn’t until about two hours later I sat and retrospectively looked in on myself and I guess to a degree pulled my mind in to line. It wasn’t the first time; I had this feeling many times in the last week – so I know this is something that is important for me to conquer at the moment.
So let me ask….what do we (meaning the big bad world of society) deem ‘normal’?
This is the question that I played around in my head… do we even know what normal is? Or is it just a trend that we think that we understand but really when you stop and think, it turns out to be one of those great mysteries that has no consistent answer.
The Dictionary depicts ‘normal’ as:
conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
So I went on a quest to find out what others say about “finding your new ‘normal’” in circumstances similar to mine and here are some of my findings:
Many survivors say that cancer changes them. After treatment, they may feel different, even though they look the same. With time, survivors often find a new way of living. Many call this a “˜new normal’. It may take months or years to find a “˜new normal’. – The NSW Cancer Council
“A new normal is a way to not constantly think about what life was like before. It is a way to focus on the present and the future.” –Living With Cancer blog, Mayo Clinic
To be honest, there wasn’t really much out there in the global cyber-sphere to tell me the answers that I seek. I came across articles discussing grieving life’s losses and looking forward to a brighter future and so forth. And then there were those that argued… why do they need to conform to a ‘new norm’ following a major diagnosis or loss of a loved one.
All the readings I have found are wonderful because whatever the opinion of others it makes me realise that I am not alone and that my questioning is valid, in a time that is a bit uncertain. So instead of finding answers from others, I asked myself what I considered ‘normal’, and my list included:
- A happy life
- A healthy life
- A life filled and surrounded by love
- Having a family…. A dog, a cat and maybe a budgerigar!
- And being financially stable – to be able to afford the food we eat and the lives that we live.
After reflecting on my list, I realised, that besides the health issues (the big looming downer), I pretty much have that ‘normal’ life. Although a puppy would help me considerably!!!!
Instead of grieving for the things of my past, I need to realise that I have been dealt a bonus card. Very few people get the opportunity to turn their lives around and live afresh with new eyes and a renewed approach to life. So if it is ‘normal’ that I am seeking, than lets shake up this ‘normal’ world a bit and add a few things into the mix. ‘Normal’ is getting a new splash of colour and a makeover! Each admission I makes takes me one step closer to understanding the hidden fears that I have.
So tell me, what do you deem ‘normal’?
Let’s end this post with an aspiring quote:
“I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.” ― Louise L. Hay
With love, light and gratitude